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Joke of the day

Discussion in 'Humour' started by gavme, Nov 12, 2010.

  1.  
    MRbusinesscards

    MRbusinesscards Freshman

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    A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he'll give him a free beer for an amazing trick. The bartender agrees. The guy pulls out a hamster that begins dancing and singing.

    "That is amazing!" says the bartender and gives him a beer.

    "If I show you something else, will you give me another beer?" The bartender agrees.

    The guy pulls out a small piano and a frog. The same hamster plays the piano while the frog dances and sings.

    The bartender, completely wowed, gives him another beer.

    A man in a suit, who's been watching the entire time, offers to buy the frog for a large sum, and the man agrees.

    "Are you nuts?" asks the bartender. "You could've made a fortune off that frog."

    "Can you keep a secret?" asks the man. "The hamster's a ventriloquist."
     
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    johnLC

    johnLC Applicant

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    A snail walks into a bank to make a deposit. Then a turtle comes in and robs the bank. Afterward, the police are interviewing the snail and asks him to recount what had happened. The snail says, "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
     
  3.  
    captaincloser

    captaincloser View from the Crow's nest

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    From the Edinburgh festival.

    Man decides to go to a fancy dress party disguised as an Italian island.

    His wife says 'Don't be Sicily'

    (Made me :lol:)
     
    ISS likes this.
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    Mark

    Mark Moderator Staff Member

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    A millionaire, a son of a marxist and a hand-wringing cretin walk into a bar. Barman says: "what will it be, Ed?"
     
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    leemason

    leemason Senior Lab Tech

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    NO! I won't have it. Multi-millionaire surely?
     
    Mark likes this.
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    JMaddox

    JMaddox Freshman

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    Two lawyers walking through the woods spotted a vicious looking bear. The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulled out a pair of sneakers and started putting them on.The second lawyer looked at him and said, "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!" "I don't have to," the first lawyer replied. "I only have to outrun you."
     
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    ISS

    ISS Son of Victor Meldrew Premium Member

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    Mark that one is in the gents toilet of my local pub.

    I just need to get the pistol from somewhere now....
     
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    CD2 Solutions

    CD2 Solutions Freshman

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    these made me laugh so much. everybody needs to laugh once in a while
     
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    QualityLondonApartments

    QualityLondonApartments Virtual Assistant/Serviced Apartments Specialist

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    Thanks for sharing!
     
  10.  
    Duncan

    Duncan Moderator Staff Member Premium Member

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    Trainee "I recently attended a course on statistics and I now understand the difference between cause and correlation".

    Boss "So the course was successful for you then?"

    Trainee "Not necessarily"
     
    MASSEY likes this.
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    robbie72

    robbie72 Applicant

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    Chris Woakes

    Chris Woakes Applicant

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    Nice one.
     
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    SamDisht

    SamDisht Applicant

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    Thanks for the share.
     
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    Andrew_P

    Andrew_P Applicant

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    y.o.u. a.r.e. n.o.t. f.u.n.n.y
     

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