Wording on a Business Flyer

[B_Cal]

Mock up some of the leaflets on an inkjet and then go and see some of the prospects that are physically close to you and see what sort of response you get.

People always love being asked to get involved and for an "opinion" that's why forums work !

Keep doing this until you get the response that you need and then think about printing.

Roy

[Gorgeous Office]

Hi,

Yes it is a bit wordy for a leaflet, but visuals will help and bullet points are always great as most people scan and don't read the full text.

Good advise from B_Cal too about having a trial print and seeing what people think.
Kim

[marketing difference]

Liam,

I would suggest that you take one step back and ask yourself why you have decided to send out a flyer.

Assuming these are new customers that are unaware of your business, a flyer in itself will not generate any extra business for your design agency. The best that you can hope for is an awareness that you exist.

Think of what happens when you receive leaflets through the post. 95% of them you will quickly glance at and then throw them in the bin. Even the 5% that you put to one side you are unlikely to act on.

Instead I would recommend personal selling as the primary route to winning more accounts. You say that as you have already targeted some business, give them a bell and try and get an appointment to showcase your work. You could still use a flyer as part of the campaign but it should be brief in terms of the copy and have a strong simple headline like 'Win more business with good design'. The leaflet should be followed up a few days later with a phone call and hopefully the potential client will be warmer to you having seen your work.

All the best,
Ian